Drink your juice.

Tonight I tried to help some friends with the logistics of sneaking alcohol into a screening.

“Tried” is the operative word there, because I ended up not fastening my bottle cap tight enough and spilling booze all over the inside of my purse. It took me roughly thirty minutes to realize what had happened — which is really a testament to the quality of the bag more than anything else — and by then it was way too late. It wasn’t until I’d made everyone take a detour into a weird bar so I could eat soup before our party and reached for my wallet to pay for my meal that I realized all of my stuff was soaked.

My book bore the brunt of that assault, so now I’m sitting in my bedroom with the hair dryer pointed at it and hoping that that “hot” smell is just what naturally happens when a lot of dust burns at once and not the beginnings of a small house fire.

Just to recap: try to be cool, end up spilling all over yourself and being in bed early, wishing you could read your book but oh woops it’s covered in booze you weren’t even going to drink and ps you made everyone watch you eat soup anyway, so maybe just be real with yourself next time and sneak a Luna bar or a really thick menstrual pad into the screening.